Archive for March, 2010
How important is "Saving Face" in the Asian culture?
Saving Face is a term used in Asian culture where a person doesn’t talk about their own secrets or that of someone else in order to preserve their honor. But this also means not saying things that would be insulting or humiliating another person.
For Example…
I remember when I was in college I heard one of my Korean friends that I grew up with in church got pregnant. She was not married.
I’m guessing that her parents had many hard conversations with her trying to wrap their minds around why this all happened. And this is one of those situations where you can’t hide your “shame”. Obviously, because she was pregnant.
This is about the time, when she was showing, people started wondering what was going on. Probably because they didn’t see a ring on her finger. Most likely, her parents were telling people that they were planning to get married.
I also imagine the conversations with people outside the family didn’t go beyond that. But, mainly to preserve the dignity and honor of the family.
People probably still asked how she was doing with the pregnancy.
It’s kind of complicated, I know. What can you say? What don’t you say?
It’s probably hard for people who aren’t Asian to understand how important “saving face” is. But really it’s about presenting the best of who you are.
This is also the reason why it’s so hard for Asian people to talk about their feelings, their preferences, their desires, dreams, pain, etc.
I know I have trouble with this. And sometimes it forces me to give an answer that people want to hear.
For example:
Person 1: How are you?
Person 2: Good. You?
Person 1: I’m good.
Do you see what’s going on here? I’m just kidding. But, seriously , sometimes I really need to stop myself and tell people what’s really going on with me.
I can’t hide my emotions very well, so it’s pretty easy to tell when I’m lying about how I’m really doing.
Lesson: When you’re trying to really understand an Asian person do it in a one to one situation and create a safe environment. This means being patient, listening, and digging deep. All the while being careful not to push too much. Be prepared not to fully understand your first time out.
Share your story and your life…
Sincerely,
Peter Park
Blogger/Worship Leader/Speaker
peterpark@redemptionboulevard.com
(800) 453-3284
© 2010, Peter Park. All rights reserved.
How important is “Saving Face” in the Asian culture?
Saving Face is a term used in Asian culture where a person doesn’t talk about their own secrets or that of someone else in order to preserve their honor. But this also means not saying things that would be insulting or humiliating another person.
For Example…
I remember when I was in college I heard one of my Korean friends that I grew up with in church got pregnant. She was not married.
I’m guessing that her parents had many hard conversations with her trying to wrap their minds around why this all happened. And this is one of those situations where you can’t hide your “shame”. Obviously, because she was pregnant.
This is about the time, when she was showing, people started wondering what was going on. Probably because they didn’t see a ring on her finger. Most likely, her parents were telling people that they were planning to get married.
I also imagine the conversations with people outside the family didn’t go beyond that. But, mainly to preserve the dignity and honor of the family.
People probably still asked how she was doing with the pregnancy.
It’s kind of complicated, I know. What can you say? What don’t you say?
It’s probably hard for people who aren’t Asian to understand how important “saving face” is. But really it’s about presenting the best of who you are.
This is also the reason why it’s so hard for Asian people to talk about their feelings, their preferences, their desires, dreams, pain, etc.
I know I have trouble with this. And sometimes it forces me to give an answer that people want to hear.
For example:
Person 1: How are you?
Person 2: Good. You?
Person 1: I’m good.
Do you see what’s going on here? I’m just kidding. But, seriously , sometimes I really need to stop myself and tell people what’s really going on with me.
I can’t hide my emotions very well, so it’s pretty easy to tell when I’m lying about how I’m really doing.
Lesson: When you’re trying to really understand an Asian person do it in a one to one situation and create a safe environment. This means being patient, listening, and digging deep. All the while being careful not to push too much. Be prepared not to fully understand your first time out.
Share your story and your life…
Sincerely,
Peter Park
Blogger/Worship Leader/Speaker
peterpark@redemptionboulevard.com
(800) 453-3284
© 2010, Peter Park. All rights reserved.
Blended services are hard work
In Mark Deymaz’s new book Ethnic Blends, he talks about three different approaches to multiethnic worship:
1. Blended Sets: this approach seeks to incorporate a variety of musical genres within one service.
2. Weekly Rotation: this approach relies upon the development of several different stylistic variations and upon worship leaders willing to rotate throughout each month on a weekly basis.
3. Major-minor mornings: two different worship leaders each take “one-half” of a service, utilizing each of their musical strengths with regard to style and language.
In our small church of approximately 100 people, we have four worship leaders who rotate during any given month, which God has blessed us with. So, this also means we have four weeks to get ready for the service we are leading.
Each one of us has had our share of unique challenges incorporating three languages and three different styles. Blended services are probably the most difficult approach to multiethnic worship, but your worship will be enriched, for sure.
The lesson that I learned early on is to find your “go to” person, especially if you’re leading worship at a small church like me.
How I translate songs into Spanish
When I find a good song I want translated into Spanish, I’ll email my good friend Rosa. (Our friendship first began when we were both working at the bank as tellers.)She translates the English “word for word” using vocabulary that’s familiar in a church setting.
Then, I’ll either check with my wife or ask my good friend, Patty, to make sure the song still makes sense when we have to take out a few words or replace them.
Finding someone to pray for the offering
There are typically two people I tend to rely on in our church to pray in the Hmong language.
I have to admit, planning a blended service takes up a lot of time, so I don’t always get to call volunteers ahead of time to help with the parts of the service that don’t require the worship team/band.
I’m grateful that these two women always agree to help me, even when I ask last minute.
No matter which approach you take for multiethnic worship, you have to develop a pool of ”go to” people you can ask for help if you want to be consistent. This may take longer than you expect, but it’s totally worth it.
Share your story and your life…
Sincerely,
Peter Park
Blogger/Worship Leader/Speaker
peterpark@redemptionboulevard.com
(800) 453-3284
© 2010, Peter Park. All rights reserved.