You seem different
It may not always seem different but people behave differently depending on whether they’re around peers, parents, culture, etc. I don’t mean people are hypocrites. I just mean there are different expectations imposed on people in different areas of life.
My work friend…
When I used to work at the bank a good friend of mine, Margarita, always seemed stressed. Our managers were pressuring her to set a good example for the other tellers to get sales and, often times, she’d be the one to handle a lot of the managerial duties…even though she wasn’t a manager.
Outside of work she didn’t seem as anxious or annoyed at people. She was actually a person with a gentle heart who made a lot of wonderful dishes.
In fact, when I needed someone to watch Gabe while my wife and I went to some event on a Saturday evening, she was totally up for it. She even made my one of my son’s favorite meals…noodles.
And, when we attended her church for a charity event she helped us get situated, as her church consists mainly of Russian speaking members.
The lesson…
The point I’m trying to make is this: there’s more than one side to someone.
You might notice that your friend, who’s Chinese, is really quiet at work, but when he’s around his Chinese friends he’s actually really funny. Or that boss who doesn’t seem to understand you is actually a strong family man.
I want to encourage you to really immerse yourself into the lives of those you’re trying to build a bridge with, especially those people who are from another culture. There are aspects of their lives that we just won’t understand unless we’re spending time with them in the settings where they are most comfortable.
Have you ever been wrong about a person? What caused you to think differently about them? How does this related to building relationships with people of different cultures in a church setting?
Share your story and your life…
Sincerely,
Peter Park
Blogger/Worship Leader/Speaker
peterpark@redemptionboulevard.com
(800) 453-3284
Expectations for Second Generation Asians
Second Generation (Adjective): Of or relating to a person or persons whose parents are immigrants.
In a recent conversation with Peter Ahn, pastor of Metro Community Church, I revisited some of the expectations that are put on second generation Asians.
Growing up as a Korean American many of my friends experienced the following expectations:
1. Learn piano or violin at a young age.
2. Get really good grades.
3. Respect our elders.
4. Be able to speak to our families in their native tongue.
5. Taking care of your parents when they retire.
You’re probably thinking that many of those expectations are part of your culture. And you’re probably right.
But there’s something in the Korean culture which puts tremendous pressure on kids to be the best, as to show honor to their family. This can be a good thing, but it can also have the opposite effect.
A common theme I saw in the Korean community was this: Brag about your kids in public, scold them in private.
This can create some interesting dynamics in a Korean person.
Language factor…
I want to take some time to address how important it is for the second generation Asian to communicate in the native language of their parents.
I had to attend “Korean School” as a kid. Every Saturday morning I’d go to a church where teachers would help you learn the Korean language. I have to admit…I hated it at the time.
Most of that hatred was due to the fact that I had to go to school six days a week. Not something a kid wants to do.
But now I’m reaping some of the benefits of it.
My wife, who’s Caucasian, is able to communicate with my family. She only says a few phrases, but my relatives love it.
I already see the expectation for my son to learn the Korean language from my family.
And yes, language has a way of building a bridge, especially within the family unit.
Getting involved with worship…
For awhile I heard how difficult it was for many of my non-Korean friends to get Koreans involved on their worship team. But a big part of that difficulty was because they weren’t asking them.
I believe most Koreans won’t volunteer to do something at church, they like to be asked. And there’s an obligation that we feel with that, especially if a pastor asks us to get involved.
Also, be sure to gently encourage them to learn the Korean language. At the very least to communicate with their families. And who knows, maybe they’ll pray or sing in Korean during the service.
Share your story and your life…
Sincerely,
Peter Park
Blogger/Worship Leader/Speaker
peterpark@redemptionboulevard.com
(800) 453-3284